Thursday, September 23, 2010

Open Letter To Tourists: Abusive Malagasy/Foreigner Marriages

Dear Tourists,

I'm one young Malagasy person who feels that the existence of old
foreigner men coming to Madagascar to marry young Malagasy women is
destroying our minds and underestimating our worth. Especially very
old French men. They are used to dominating Malagasy people as they
did during the colonial days and because they have money. In some
cases, but of course not in all cases, they treat these girls badly
when they bring them to France. Sometimes they do sadist or illegal
things. Things that a French woman would never accept but a Malagasy
woman does out of poverty. These women do not have money to return
back or to hope for justice because they depend on the man. Human
beings are equal and you do not have the right to treat women in this
way for any reason. Having money does not mean that you can do
whatever you want. If Malagasy people did the same thing to you,
would you accept it? I don't think so.

If a Malagasy girl married you—she is expecting a better life and not
bad treatment. Yes, I recognize that they love you because of your
money but they will make an effort to make your relationship work.
You are not a young man anymore and you should thank them to accept
being with you with all of their beauty and youth. They choose to
leave their family and their life as a young person to follow you.

To the Malagasy woman, also, I suggest please do not be blind for
money. Think a lot before you accept to marry someone. Going abroad,
marrying a vazaha (foreigner) is not the only way to be rich and have
success even if you feel it is. Use your mind and your talent. I
know every person has the choice to do what they want. And if you
think it is good for you—do it—just be careful.

Yours,

Sunia

7 comments:

Unknown said...

Girls should be very careful whom they are going to marry. But they are too young and poor. They are very easy to make bad choices. They need education, job, and support from family.

Anonymous said...

It is ultimately a decision between two people to marry--and I am not against intercultural marriages. But I am suspicious of a person who does not relate with women of his own age. I think older women are more assertive and I wonder about a man who wants an unformed partner. Does he not want an equal relationship? I also agree that these young girls should be very careful. Money is no substitute for respect and love.

Anonymous said...

I very much agree where your coming from. A young girl wants to get out of her lifestyle but sometimes it turns out to be for the worst because of him. But these foreigners should know better, but I think they might think with there money;instead, which is not respectful especially for her. Maybe more education and support is needed?

Anonymous said...

I have been with my Malagasy husband for 10 years & am very happily married. One of the very first things my husband told me when he asked me to marry me was that we would never live in Madagascar as "marriage does not survive Antananarivo"

You have mentioned that foreigners treat Malagasy women badly which is true - these men are lecherous cretans who you rightly point out could not hold down a similar marriage with a French or other woman.

However my husband & I have seen many many Malagsy marriages (ie: Malagsy woman married to a Malagasy man) who are treated in exactly the same way! Sometimes its as subtle as expecting her to do everything in the house & not lifting a finger, to out-rightly disrespectful as having extra marital affairs & expecting their wives to put up with it.
All under the guise of "family first" it seems.

These girls, often very young but educated in France, marry to satisfy their parents or for money & status & then wonder why their marriages are complete shams. The culture allows for extra marital affairs & during the lifetime of their marriages these women become shadows of themselves after years of "sweeping it under the rug" & ignoring their husbands disgusting behavior.
Its very very sad to see such educated women throw their lives away & how many malagasy men allow themselves to be sucked into a culture that in turn helps them become the very lecherous men you mention the French foreigners are.

My husband made the decision long before I came along that he would not live in Madagascar again because of how the culture has ripped apart his parents, family members & all his friend's marriages. As sad as that is for him he actually saved his marriage & his children before they even arrived.

Anonymous said...

Awesome topic!
I am a 24 year-old malagasy young man that live in the U.S. I grew up in Antananarivo but left the motherland when I was 16. One thing I can tell from experience is: A lot of malagasy men are very disrespectful towards their women. In the culture, the women are almost expected to tolerate everything that the man does. Since I now experienced many other cultures, I only found out one solution: Respect. I encourage malagasy or foreign men to respect your women. It's also a form of self respect and you'll be a lot more happy.

Anonymous said...

I am a American citizen, i want to marry a woman from Madagascar. But i dont know the best way of bringing her to USA. Can any help me with the best information

Unknown said...

All around the world madagasca is known because woman from there have values..... Not all men are gonna be bad ...me too I'm looking forward to marry one from Madagascar because woman in Africa behave same way as malagasy men do